change comes from within

Seems like theres a whole lotta changing going on in my life lately.

I've been sewing the shit out of Cinder and Smoke garments, working double time for Janna and totally loving it. Because she sells the majority of her work at the farmers market downtown, which closes in another month, im a bit worried about where that will leave me. I keep meaning to ask her to see how much work she thinks she will have when thats done, but its pretty easy for me to forget.

When Janna comes to pick up/drop off stuff ( usually with a coffee, awesome!) its like im an excited little puppy. It totally brightens my day and makes me happy. Imagine what it would be like if i interacted with real people EVERY day?!!

Sewing for Janna gives me extra money for sure, which is awesome. My laptop broke a coupla months ago, and wasnt fixable so I got myself a macbook. This week I have finally bought myself a car. I havent had a car since 2003 or 04? Whenever i rolled my last one on the hiway.

I like the freedom that it gives me, not having to take the bus to/from work, and getting groceries is a breeze, but quite frankly, i feel like its made me even more anti social. Now i dont even have the busdrivers to say goodmorning to, or fellow passengers to peoplewatch.... Slowly i am making myself completely independant from everything and everyone around me. Im making myself lonelier... if thats possible?!

I am also moving in the middle of sept. Thank god! Joe and Annan are the hugest slobs in all the land. Thats just the way they are. Its pretty impossible to live with, dirty dishes and cat barf everywhere in this once beautiful house. Im moving back into my old house that i lived in before i moved to oz. Upstairs, with cory, with kalvin, nelle and my kitty downstairs. My great garden out back, and unfortunately the boy who crushed my heart lives across the street with his wonderful reality of pets and family and ladyfriend. You have to take the good with the bad right? Im hoping i can deal with matty easily and that it wont be rediculous. Though, i was driving there the other day and i almost had a panic attack about it. Damn. well, life isnt supposed to be easy right?

So now im packing up, hoping to move on, move to a happier place with friends/roomies that arent so self absorbed. Im missing ray, despite the fact that he would be a disaster for me. I guess im just missing the attention and companionship.

and im missing summertime. Where the hell did you go?

asshole.